back from Utah

Back from Utah. My son graduated from BYU. It was wonderful. I then drove home with my daughter in her little car. It was so packed. We had to fix it so my seat could go back. As the trip went on stuff feel back under the seat so I still couldn't push the seat back. Oh well. I did drive a lot. She was afraid to drive on the curvy areas. I grew up in Colorado so I was use to driving on mountainous roads. It was so beautiful. My daughter kept snapping photos with her digital camera. I'll have to post one on here. I learned about myself. The same thing I always learn. That I can do more then I think. I didn't want to come on this trip. I kept that to myself. Being so tired all the time; I wondered how I could do this. For the love of my children I can do anything. I did it, it was a wonderful trip and I'd do it again. Glad I made myself do it. Now I know if I push myself my body can endure. I won't say it was easy. One time I forgot to eat early enough. It was after graduation. I just started crying being overwhelmed. I was feeling so many feelings. Happy to be with the kids, sad because my son keeps saying he’s going to New Zealand to start a company. I was hungry and just started crying. It lasted just a few seconds and I managed to pull back my emotions. Everyone knew it was the tx, my emotions and lack of food. We quickly got some food and I felt much better.
I will cherish the memories. The one thing we can take with us when we die and no one can take from us. The memories and love of family and friends stays with us forever. How grateful I am that I was able to make this trip possible.

shot 10

This has been a good week. I have handled the sides. I went to a couple of dances....seems like a long time ago. I saw some friends today. I'm going to a Womens group dinner today. I won't be there for the dinner but the speakers afterwards. One is my good friend. I've seen her give talks and she is excellent. I know this is boring to read but that is a good thing on tx. I know this is about tx but life goes on. My only advice is to take care of yourself and then you have strength to take care of others. Everything I do takes longer now. It takes me longer to get ready. I wear less makeup, having to be careful around the eyes. No liner. I think I actually look and better without liner so that may be a good thing. I still have trouble using my contacts. I wear glasses at home. Hopefully I will return to my normal routine with contacts after tx. My eyes feel sore all the time. There is enough to complain about if I think about all the little problems. I just try to focus on other things. My friend told me that she and the others in the Church Presidency were talking about me....because I'm on the list to watch out for during my tx. One didn't see me at Church and wondered if I was ok. Another one who is also my friend said she did see me at Church and I looked beautiful. Wow...after that made me feel good. But will anyone believe I'm sick if I look good. I did get my hair done this last week for the dances. But I was limping around from hurting my back dancing and wearing glasses. Nice to hear to hear someone was talking behind my back and saying that. Maybe I was glowing because i got out of the house that weekend and danced. I also think everyone expects me to fall apart on tx. Even I expected it. It hasn't happened yet.
Wed. I flew to Salt Lake. I went with my sister-inlaw from my husband that has passed on. Saw another good friend on the plane. In Salt Lake at the Airport I ran into another old friend. Got to Salt Lake and ate at The Garden at Temple Square with my friend and daughter. Its a beatiful building with lots of history. The Garden is on the top with a beautiful view of Downtown. We then walked around The Temple, saw a few wedding parties. The women had beautiful wedding dresses on and they were getting photos taken.My daughter took lots of pictures of us till I finally said no more photos! We went to the North Visitors Center and saw the statue of The Chritis. Its a replica of the statue in Europe. Its a famous one. Then we drove my daughter down to Provo. I didn't lay down in my room till eight. I woke up at two to loud rain.
My daughter and I learned something. I'm a intravert and she's an extravert. That is why we aren't good around each other for long. I need my space and quiet to get my energy back and she needs people to regenerate her energy. Opposites. Even as a child she wanted me around all the time and I needed to just get out of the house away from the kids for some minutes to drive arround and get grounded again. Or I needed to have privacy in my room to get my energy back. I never knew others could get their energy back from being arround people. My friend says their is a website to test your personality. I'll post it later. She told me opposites should not get married. Although some people are a little of both. Thiis web site will explain. My friend learned this from work and management, to help her manage companys. my daughter and I werre happy to find out that nothing was wrong with our relationship except understanding each other. What a difference that makes for us. I think now we can be more respectful of how we deal with the world around us, Yesterday was a great day. Great to be with family.

shot 9

I did shot 9 last Tuesday and its Sunday. I went out to a Church Single Conference dance on Friday and Sat. I liked the one on Sat better. It was at this place that was built to look like a old western town. The dance with in this huge barn. About 300 hundred people where there. I danced a couple of dances and I was beat. The last one was difficult. I always think I can be like everyone else but I can't right now. At least I enjoyed myself till I had to go. I saw some old friends and that was nice to catch up. I don't have tolerence for people that are back stabbers or gossips. I have little energy myself and life is short. So I noticed that the people I gravitated to were solid good souls I could count on.

I woke up this morning to go to Church. My back was hurting and I walked with a limp. That was from dancing last night. I was late for my ward and got there in time for the Spanish Branch. I did my best to follow along in Spanish. My favorite is singing the hymns in Spanish. I can pronounce the words but what am I saying? I'm home in bed now and will use this day to completly rest.

The sides this week were mainly fatique. I fought it each day and went out into the world. I bought some clothes for the dances and had my hair done. I put the highlights in so we shall see if my hair falls out now. My skin was dry but seems better then it was a couple of weeks ago. My stomach was much better since I began eating yogurt again. I had terrible aches and pains especially at night . I have been staying up late because of it. I have been thinking I"m so lonely here by myself. Maybe that is a good thing on tx. My kids will be home next week. I hope I am not a emotionaly wreak. So far I have been feeling balenced and positive. This tx has gone be so quickly. I will be on shot 10 this week and shot 12 will be half way. Looking forward to the half way mark.

taxes

I got my taxes together for last year and this year. Since last year I was getting divorced and was in shock over the whole thing.. Talking to my friend and accountant, he told me its ok since I didn't owe anything. So I will be doing it tomorrow just at the deadline. Does everyone with hep-c put things off? Can I blame it on my illness?
I've been feeling very achy for a couple of days. Lots of pain. I think stress brings it out. I would suggest to anyone about to do tx to get everything in order before starting. I know you can't predict everything and things will come up. Just do as much as possible before starting tx to be stress free as possible. Anything that bothers you before starting tx will bother you more when you start. As you go through tx remember everything you are grateful for. Write it down everyday if possible. That will keep positive thoughts close by you. Try to stay AWAY from negative bad people. Stay around good positive happy people. That will help your body and mind heal.

Food mmm something good.

I have been trying to find something good to eat. Everything has tasted terrible. Today i went to a favorite Mexican place. I was craving one of their tortas. I explained what i wanted to a man that didn't speak English. It was great since I like to practice my Spanish. After he brought me the sandwhich. I opened it. Took a bite. It tasted so good. I forgot what it was like to enjoy food. Simple pleasures. I think that is what I have learned on tx. When I find the small pleasures, they please me.

Little about my past

I want to let overs know about me but I'm going to hold some things private. I will keep this journel focused on my tx for hep-c. I hope I can help someone along the way.