Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Last shot #24 just a little thank you prayer.

I thought I'd feel good and happy. I am but I have pain tonight. I cooked on Sat and Sun, cleaned up. Then I cooked a key lime pie today. I don't know why I'm doing this. I just don't want to eat out so I'm cooking.All of this cooking makes my back hurt more. So instead of being happy, I'm grouchy. I'm sure by morning I'll be fine. On my good days I do crazy things like cook homemade food. I was tired of going to this mexican restaurant...and I was craving it so I got everything to make homemade salsa. I cut up everything. And I made breakfast burritos. I must be crazy. I don't accept I'm sick till I drop down in my bed and then I can't move...like right now. I did too much, I did too much, I did too much. I can't move and now a headache coming on.
Do not let this scare you. I am doing tx my own way. I was a cowgirl growing up so I just don't believe in being sick in bed. I needed to be tied down or in a straight jacket. Most of this is my fault for overdoing things. Also its been 110 to 116 all summer. That is hard on the normal, healthy population, so I'm proud of myself for doing as well as I did in this heat.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Nomad Hep-c forum (THANK YOU!!)

One place I'm grateful for is the Nomad Hep-c forum group. The people on there are good people. I think finding each other was no accident.Its like we were met to connect with each other. I wouldn't have had as easy of a time on tx without them. It was hard enough and to have a group that understands exactly how you feel and you understand how they feel......its a huge blessing.
There are other groups in the U.S. I just think the UK nomad group have a progressive mind of their own concerning health care. I fit in better there. Also they are always polite and respectful.

That is hepcnomads.co.uk

Once again THANK YOU Nomads!!!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Feeling peace

This is the link to the man we called in. He was found and arrested.
> http://www.azcentral.com/php-bin/clicktrack/email.php/8199436

Today I'm feeling quite good. The Zantac (the popular name for the pills I'm taking for stomach pain from the anti-d) is working great. I have no problems with that anymore. But now I've added a pill to a pill that I added to my tx. I feel like I'm on pills all day. It will be nice to be done with some of them.
I'm still saying my prayers. I'm so much happier, more grateful, my daughter is spending more time with me. We are becoming closer in our relationship. How something so small can make a huge difference. It just does. Today I got out old videos of the kids when they were babies.My son, daughter and I watched a couple of them. One of them their Dad was taking the video. He was talking to the kids (babies). My son was 2 1/2 years and my daughter 8 months old. My husband died one month later. Then we watched one after their father died. I could tell I was sad in the video. It was hard to hold myself together for the kids sake. I was also thinking how I must have gotten Hep-c by then. I had my son c-section, then the back surgery 7 months later (I got blood then), then I got had my daughter c-section again. Then my husband dies 8 months later. I was so thin. Just interesting to look back to see me at the time I may have received hep-c. I'm so much healthier now. Even on tx. Strange. I did drink and smoke back then. I quit about 15 years ago. So glad I did having hep-c. It was because of the Church I decided to visit. Its the Mormon Church. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.My kids were ages four and six. The instant we walked in and heard everyone singing we all felt something good. We all loveed the Church and the people there right away. I just didn't know if I could fit in. But as I found out all kinds of personality's fit in. Everyone is unique. Everyone one of us is a child of God. One thing I noticed here was I liked the teenagers. They were polite and seemed happy for teenagers. Very different. I liked it that they didn't drink or smoke. They had a healthy lifestyle. Addictions run in my husbands family genes so I was impressed that these kids can have fun without drinking. As I looked at my little ones who were free spirits....like their mom and dad, I knew this would be good for them. As we went we all felt at home and welcomed there. We went and I looked into it for a year and then we joined. The more I knew the better it became. The members have always helped me when needed. I was so poor back then. Someone would always drop off some groceries for me or come by to cut my lawn. I needed my bills payed sometimes. As a single mom I will always be grateful for those that helped me during those hard times. I was sick a lot and now I realize it could have been hep-c. My health improved as time went on after I changed my lifestyle to a healthier one. Those in the medical community are becoming more familiar with symptoms of hep-c. A short while back they only thought fatigue was a common symptom. I and many others believe there is more to it then that. Watching those videos was like time travel to the past. Surreal.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Drum roll (almost) shot # 23 Done

I've had an odd time of it the last couple of weeks. The anti-d was helping my depression. It was unbelieveable. I've had depression but not like this with the anxiety with it. The interferon and riba's really do a number on your head. Although the anti-ds (Lexapro 10mg) was helping almost immediately, they made my stomach very sick. I thought I had food posiening twice. After taking a whole one I cut them up and took a quarter pill. Then began a half one every other day. Someone wrote on the forum they had heart burn with anti-ds so I bought over the counter heart burn meds today. I took one in the early afternoon. I took my anti-d and so far my stomach is fine. I even ate spicy mexican food today. So the heartburn pill worked. I'll write the name of it in the next posting.
It rained yesterday. It was nice. If I can figure out how to take a video off facebook I'll put the video my daughter and her friends made yesterday. It gives you a good idea of the surroundings where I live.
My daughter and I picked up my son at the airport today. He came back from Provo, Utah in time for his doctor appointment for his fractured knee. On the way home before his appointment we witnessed a guy and two girls fighting on the side of the road. We called the police and reported it. The guy looked to be hurting the girls. We saw a police car coming in our rearview mirror. We dropped off my son off at the doctors and came back. There were police cars, ambulence, helicopter. We drove a mile square and the whole area had police cars every so often. There are orange groves where we saw this happen. We thought the guy may have run into the groves. We got a call later about it from the police. The first police car that arrived, somehow the policeman got his gun and police car taken from him by this man. How could that happen? That is so crazy. In the middle of the day.
I'm very happy right now. No heartburn. I can lay down with out pain in my stomach and chest.
This morning I had a headache when I woke up.
The sides are never predictable. I don't want to scare anyone off from tx. If I can do it anyone can.
One thing personal to me that helped was saying my prayers. I recently began this on a regular routine twice a day. On my knees out loud. I talked to God like I would as I see him. I see him as my Heavenly Father. In prayer nameing what I'm thankful for and then asking for things I have need of or asking for help for others. That has given me comfort and hope. My home feels different. My family is getting along better. Its bringing a good spirit into the home. I have even been thankful for my Hep-c. I know its helped me grow as a person. I didn't know how strong I could be. I didn't know how strong many others could be. How thankful I am to have met wonderful people on the forum, its the UK one. They are a tough good bunch. We will always share a bond and that is bond is hep-c survivers.

Friday, July 11, 2008

count my blessings

The news media is showing the American men that were prisoners in the jungles of Columbia for years. There always had nine pounds of chain around their necks. I have to remember my blessings. Yes I'm on tx but I'm free. I can walk out my front door if I want. I can go to my fridge and get some food. I have my bed to lay down in when I feel bad. My laptop to entertain me. So I can be grateful for all I have. Even having Hep-c can be a blessing if I take all I've learned from this and see the positive. This tx has brought up issues I had buried. I've had to face them head on. Its been difficult but I'm coming through it stronger then I've ever thought I could be.

food poisoning?

I had pizza from Little Ceasers yesterday. About six hours later I was so sick. We all know the details from food poisoning. Just that it went on till midnight. My son ate the same thing but he didn't get sick. Maybe its because my white blood count is down. So we need to be careful when eating out. I feel better today but dehydrated. I'm going to eat jello and drink lots of fluids. I'm skipped my riba does this morning. I'll take it tonight.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Monday middle of the night

Had a good day today. Paying for it now. Went out with my son to pick up lunch. I got dessert. Later in the night I went to a movie with my daughter. It was a G rated movie for young girls. About one of the American Girl stories. It took place in the time of the Great Depression. My daughter was surprised at the goverment soup lines for most people had no money for food. How so many people loss everything. How the girls mothers made them clothes out of the potato sacks. The movie was put together quite well. Im very picky about movies. They need to keep my interest. I give this four stars. Especially for young girls that need to know how about the time their Grandmothers lived. Seems to be more real to our children if its seen at the cinema. The history books at school doesn't seem to have the same effect.

I'm still doing the anti=ds. They give me dry mouth. I don't like some of the sides. On the other hand, I can't go without them. I can tell the difference in my outlook.
Today I had too much fun going out with each of the kids. I'm very sick tonight. Muscles and joints hurting all over, stomach hurts, my head hurts, just worn out. As much as I try to fight against the tx, I can't. I have to give my body what it needs. More bed rest and liquids. Feels somewhat like I'm in the movie "groundhog day". Everyday I wake to being on tx. I try to make each day better but the status quo will usually have to do.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

shot # 20

I'm going to do my shot tonight. I think I need to celebrate 4/5s way through tx. Maybe my son will go out to eat at Pei Wei's. All I can eat is a bowl of soup. My stomach has become very small. Its almost Independence Day. I'm sad my daughter is going off to California. Sad for me but happy for her happiness. My son is staying around here. I think its for me. Why else would he be here? I think the whole city is gone for the weekend. Its so hot here. Even my car guy is going up North. Had to get the car in tonight. He is there a half a day tomorrow to fix the car. So I'll borrow my daughters car for the time she's gone.
I have been doing more the last few days. My plan of not overdoing it is not working. I think I have to work as I feel like it. If I overdo it then so be it.
I was so depressed last week. Felt like ending it all. So I took a anti'd. It was so strong but raised my seratonon levels right away. So I cut the pills in 4ths and have been taking one each day. That is 2.5 of Lexapro each day. I'm against strong western medicine but I have to be on tx and it causes depression so have to be on something. I figure that little bit will be easy to come off of once I'm finished with tx. That little bit seems to be helping a lot. Mentally I feel better then the whole time I've been on tx. I guess I shouldn't be so stubborn to not take the anti-ds. I may just go to 1/4 every other day. The smaller dose I can handle the better.